Not Getting Any Younger
by ToKeepFromGoingUnder
Summary: Series of stories  that all run in together  based off of songs  mostly Country songs  and it's about heartbreak... Cal's in the wwrong here... tsk tsk tsk. The name is just a way of showing that time is being wasted when it could be cherished.
1. The Man I Want To Be

**He fell to the groud with a grunt, happy with the strong impact.**

**"You bastard!" Cal could hear Nick yell as he kicked him in the gut.**

**"Hit me harder," Cal whispered.**

**"What was that?" Nick frowned and crouched down. "What did you say?"**

**"Hit me harder."**

**Nick grabbed him by the hair and pulled Cal's face towards his. "You want me to stop?"**

**"No. Hit me harder, you bloody idiot," Cal hissed, wincing as Nick dropped his head and kicked him.**

**"Why?"**

**"I hurt her..." Cal whispered, squeezing his eyes shut as he jolted with every kick.**

_"I don't want to be with you Nick. I am dating Cal."_

_He leaned against the wall and ran a hand through his hair. "C'mon Gillian... leave him for me."_

_"No. I love Cal. I will not do that."_

_She walked out of the office, and Nick was about to follow her out when he saw Cal walking down the hallway. "Lightman!"_

_"Yes?" Cal looked around, searching for who was calling him. His eyes landed on Nick and he whispered, "Oh."_

_"Yeah, can I talk to you?" Nick asked._

_"Yeah, what about...?" Cal stopped beside Nick and raised an eyebrow._

_Nick took a step into Cal's personal space and hissed, "If you do anything to hurt her.. Gillian, I mean... if you cheat on her, if you yell at her, if you hit her, if you do ANYTHING to hurt her... I will personally come and beat you to a pulp."_

_Cal looked at him, not exactly intimidated. "Right, well, mate, I'll try not to." He smiled and patted Nick's shoulder. "Maybe next time, buddy."_

_Nick watched him walk away and yelled out, "I'm serious! Don't think that I'm not!"_

_"Oh, I'm not worried... I'm sure that you are serious, but we will never run into that problem, will we?"_

**Cal held his stomach and coughed when Nick kicked his back.**

**"I hope you feel like a piece of shit, because that's what you are," Nick hissed.**

**Cal squeezed his eye shut and nodded. He knew that's what he was.**

_"We shoudn't be doing this," Cal whispered as he laid little kisses over her jaw._

_"I don't care what we should or shouldn't be doing. I've been waiting a long time to do this with you." She unbuttoned the first button for his polo shirt and then grabbed the bottom, pulling it up over his hed. She ran her hands over his chest and he shifted away uncomfortably._

_"No... we shouldn't... be... uh... doing this." He gulped loudly and tried to push her away. "Please stop... I don't want to do this."_

_"Oh, that's a lie." She pushed on his chest until they had fallen back on his bed. _

_She pulled open her shirt and shook her chest smiling. "That makes it all better?" She took his hand and placed it on a breast._

_"No..." He pulled away and pushed her away. "No, stop."_

_"Oh, Cal... c'mon." She jumped on him one last time, pressing their lips together._

_He pushed on her hips as she tried to push her tongue into his mouth. _

_He opened his mouth to take a breath, not really thinking, and she slipped her tongue in, running her hands down his chest to his pants. She unbuttoned them and pushed them down his legs._

_He changed his pushing to pulling and pulled her waist into him. He ran his hands up her back and helped her pull the rest of her shirt off._

_"Cal! I came over... I thought we could have dinner tonight!"_

_His eyes got wide and he rolled off his bed. "You need to leave right now," he hissed._

_"Cal?" She laid a bag of groceries on the counter and went to the stairs. "Where are you, Cal? I'm coming upstairs."_

_He crawled over the floor and silently locked the door, breathing heavily. "Get out!" he hissed._

_"Cal... just tell her."_

_"No, leave! Now!" He pointed to the window._

_"Cal? Can I come in?"_

_"Um, no, wait a sec," he mumbled, standing up, searching for his pants. "Get the hell out of here." He opened up the window and grabbed the woman, pushing her through the window._

_She fell onto the yard in just her jeans and bra. He found her shirt and threw it out of the window. "Leave!" He pointed away from the house._

_"Cal?" Gillian asked, leaning against the wall outside of his room._

_He pulled his jeans on and buttoned them. "Alright, uh, you can come in." _

_He unlocked the door and went to looking for his shirt when she came in._

_Before she walked in he grabbed the blanket on his bed and threw it up to the pillows._

_"Hey," he said with a smile when she walked in._

_"Hey..." She returned the smile and looked at his chest. "You can put that shirt on now."_

_He nodded and pulled the black polo over his head. "What's up?"_

_He tightened her jaw and asked, "What were you doing in here?"_

_"Nothing... getting dressed..." he shrugged and smiled._

**"What the hell was going through your head? I've been busting my ass for the past four months to be with her... and it's a breeze for you, but you can't even treat her right!" Nick bit his tongue and kicked Cal again.**

**"I'm sorry..." Cal whispered.**

**"Yeah, you should be sorry. I should kill you."**

_"Dinner was good," he said, taking her hand and pulling her up to his room._

_Gillian smiled and grabbed the collars of his polo shirt, "Kiss me."_

_"Yes ma'am." He smiled and pulled her onto his bed._

_She fell on top of him and laid her mouth on his, taking it slowly. _

_He threw the blanket down to the bottom and held to her waist as they kissed._

_"What's that?" she asked, pullingaway from the kiss. _

_"What?" he asked, following her finger to the black high heel shoe._

_"That shoe. Who's is it? That's too big for Emily and it certainly isn't mine."_

_"Uh..." He bit his lip and looked at her._

**"She's never going to love you again," Nick brought to Cal's attention, pulling him from the ground and sending him back down with a punch.**

"_He was cheating on me..." Gillian cried, sitting beside Nick._

_"Are you fucking serious?" Nick asked, disgusted._

_"Yeah... I didn't even catch him... I... I found a high heel in his bedroom. He couldn't even tell me. Why would he cheat on me?" she asked._

_"I don't know, but he's definitely notgoing to get away with it." Nick stood up and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. "He's going to pay," he whispered._

**Cal stood in front of her, a black eye and busted lip.**

**"What happened to you?"**

**"What I deserved," he whispered, fidgeting with his fingers.**

**"Are you okay?" she asked.**

**"Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, Gillian. I'm sorry." He took a step towards her. "You'll never forgive me and that's okay. I just want you to know that I'm sorry."**

**.:.**

**"So... I've never really prayed before, but this is kind of important. I don't... really know how, but Emily said that I just... just talk to you?" Cal rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. "I've never talked to you before... 'cept maybe saying "God, help me get this' or something like that... you know? But... but now I really need some help, and I don't know if I've earned it, but I really need some assistance with being a better man... could you help me with that? Uh, I just want to - to know how to make things better... help me the man that she needs. Uh, thanks." He did the sign of the cross and stood up awkwardly.**

The Man I Want To Be by Chris Young


	2. Words I Couldn't Say

_He pushed on the ground and wrapped his arm around he shoulers as the swing started._

_She leaned over and laid her hands on his chest. "Would you be angry if I kiss you?"_

_"Hell no." He smiled and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into him as she laid her lips on his. _

_After a second, she pulled away wit a surprised look._

_"What?"_

_"You're a really good kisser."_

_"Oh, why thank you." He chuckled and pulled her head closer to his. "So are you, darling. How about we stop talking about it and start doing it?"_

_She confirmed his suggestion by pressing he lips back to his._

**He sat in front of his closet, a large cardboard box in front of him. He pulled out a pile of pictures. They went all the way back to nine years ago when he and Gillia first started working together.**

**One picture was the two of them in front of the 'The Lightman Group' sign, smiling, his arm around her waist.**

**Another was fairly recent - while they were datng - of them sitting on the bench outside of a fountain, kissing.**

**He leaned against his bed and sighed. He couldn't believe that he'd let it all slip away.**

**.:.**

**"Cal, I don't want to talk to you about this." She shook her head and pointed to the door.**

**"Please Gillian!" he begged, stepping towards her.**

**"Cal. No. Get out. Please just leave. It's over. I don't want to talk any further."**

**"Gillian..." He took a deep breath and stared at his feet. "Why?"**

**"You've hurt me enough Cal!"**

**He nodded and stepped out of her office, making his way back to his.**

**He whacked himself on the forhead and leaned against the wall in the hallway. "Why the hell didn't I keep talking?"**

**.:.**

**"Emily... what am I supposed to do now?"**

**"I don't know dad... you were a complete ass. What's wrong with you?"**

**"I don't know!" he yelled, falling onto a chair at the table. **

**"Well... there's no second chance... no plan B... and there's no one to blame but yourself. Figure it out dad... seriously... don't let her get away. I can't believe you would do that. I thought you loved Gillian."**

**"I do! I DO love her!" He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Gosh dammit. I do love her."**

**"So what have you been thinking."**

**"I don't know what to say to make it better... you watch that Oprah shit... give me some pointers here."**

**"Okay, one... it's not shit... and two, I can't handle this for you. Figure it out." She gave him a stern look and then left the kitchen.**

**.:.**

**Now, as he laid in bed that night - in complete silence - all he could think about was what he didn't say. What he _couldn't _say. He could only think about the words that were left unspoken.**

**He'd screwed it up big this time.**

**She'd been right there... right in his arms... and he let it all slip away. He let her go. What the hell was wrong with him? **

**And now she was gone because he _almost _slept with another woman - which he had been pushing away anyway. She was gone because he screwed up for like ten seconds, and Gillian found at the perfect time. He didn't even have sex with her! He never even made it to that.**

**.:.**

**Two weeks later, and she was refusing to talk to him. Not anymore. She was done with it all.**

**They still carried on at work, but she didn't have to speak to him... so she didn't.**

Words I Couldn't Say by Rascal Flatts


	3. Apologize

**He walked into her office with the intention of talking it over once and for all. **

**He walked in silently, and watched her work on finances or whatever the shit it was she was doing. He didn't care. He never had. **

**She looked stressed. He started to feel a little bad for making her do something so stressful.**

**"Do we hav enough to pay everyone this week?" he asked, digging his hands into his pockets.**

**"Just barely, Cal. I really need you to work on..." He voice fell and she smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was a smile of irony.**

**There it was for a just a second. Normalness. She talked to him like she usually would. He'd done it. He'd recieved that little bit that he needed in order to talk to her about this.**

**He smiled triumphantly and said, "Gillian. Can I talk to you... and this time could you refrain from kicking me out?"**

**She tightened her jaw and nodded. "Make it quick because I'm getting sick just looking at you."**

**He swallowed hard and said, "I didn't do anything with her."**

**"Wait. I want to know who it was."**

**He shook his head.**

**"Cal, I need to know who it was that ruined everything between us. Who it was that you were so tempted to sleep with!"**

**He took a deep breath and whispered, "Zoe."**

**"Her? Really Cal? Haven't you slept with her enough?"**

**"I didn't sleep with her, Gillian! I heard you coming and I pushed her out."**

**"Oh, so you didn't because you heard me coming? That fixes nothing, Cal!"**

**"No! We weren't going to do anything, Gill!"**

**"News flash, Cal! That doesn't matter! She shouldn't have been in your house... in your ROOM at all! You said you were done with her!"**

**He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up and mumbled, "It doesn't matter... she doesn't matter. She means nothing to me, Gillian."**

**"Oh, really? Because even after you two divorced you would still sleep with her occasionally... what did that mean?"**

**"Nothing! Abso-fucking-lutely nothing!" he insisted.**

**"You want to know something?" she asked calmly.**

**"Probably," he answered.**

**"You know that I loved you as best as I possibly could... right?"**

**He frowned. He didn't want to answer that.**

**"Yes or no, Cal?"**

**"Yes," he finally whispered.**

**She nodded and said, "I loved you with all my heart. I thought about you day and night and I wondered what it was that would make you happy that night or the next morning. I kissed you passionately... I still can't seem to figure out what I did wrong... I can't find the answer to my problem. What is it that made you need Zoe?"**

**He bit his lip and shifted uncomfortable, feeling an aching pain in his chest. "Nothing."**

**"There had to have been something."**

**He shook his head. "I was an idiot Gillian! I don't know what the hell I was thinking because I love you and you are the only one I want!"**

**"Well... guess what Cal."**

**"What?"**

**"It's too late to apologize. I'm not taking it anymore. It's too late."**

**.:.**

**"I miss her."**

**'Yeah, you should. Dad.. I still can't get over my disgust for you."**

**That one hit him like a lead bullet. **

**"Gillian is the best thing that ever happened to us! She took over for mom... she came in and was perfect for us... and then you somehow managed to get her into your arms... andthen you _cheat _on her? What the hell is wrong with you?"**

**"Emily! Stop! I'm trying to figure this out, alright?"**

**She took a bite of the cookie in her hand and shrugged. "Alright... want to talk about it?"**

**"You know... the thing that gets me the most is that... I'm right back to the beginning... I still love the hell out of her but she feels nothing for me... maybe less."**

**"Probably less."**

**"For sure less," he agreed. **

**"You know... when Rick cheated on me... I didn't even want to look at him... I mean-"**

**"Wait a sec. Rick cheated on you?"**

**"Um, yeah. Mom knew."**

**"Why didn't I? I'll kill him!"**

**"That's why, dad. We didn't want him to get hurt." She shrugged and said, "There was a way he could have fixed it though... he was just... he didn't care enough to find the answer."**

**"What's the answer?" Cal asked anxiously.**

**"Well... it's different for every woman. Figure it out yourself."**

**"I told her I was sorry."**

**"Well I'm pretty sure it's a little too late to be apologizing." She gave him another stern look and grabbed another cookie before she ran upstairs.**

Apologize by Luke Bryan


	4. Everytime I See You

**He watched her from farther away then usual, trying to pick up a physical indication that she was in less pain. But that indication never came. It never, _ever _came.**

**It was painful to see her.**

**When he saw her face, that sorrowful, angry, pained face, he felt like he was being hit by a bolt of lightning right in the chest.**

**At the moment, he sat in his office, his feet on his desk. No one would realize the agony he was in if they stepped in the room.**

**Agony. What a stupid word for his current situation. He felt like an asshole even saying that he was in pain.**

**It was Gillian who was in agony. In pain.**

**But everytime he saw her... his heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest.**

**.:.**

**"I will, Emily. You know that I will."**

**"It's taking a long time, dad, and I'm getting worried."**

**"Chill. I'll figure it out. I'm trying to drive here and you're distracting me."**

**"Well... I'm doing homework and you're distracting me."**

**"Liar."**

**"About which part?"**

**"The homework... and the distracting, I guess."**

**"Eyes on the road, dad," she reminded him.**

**He chuckled and said, "Get your work done."**

**He was stuck at a stop light for a while and looked around, nodding his head to the music. **

**"Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know."**

**When he saw her, he stopped immediately and turned the music off. She was talking to some guy on the street and laughing.**

**There was a loud honk from behind him and Cal pulled forward.**

**He pretended to not care that she was standing there, already talking to some guy.**

**The truth sank in a couple seconds later though.**

**"Gosh dammit!" he yelled, pounding his fist on the steering wheel. **

**"What? Dad... what?" Emily asked.**

**"I screwed every fucking little thing up!" he cried, kicking the ground. "Gosh DAMMIT!"**

**"Dad! Calm down! What's wrong?"**

**He felt a tear run down his face and shook his head, pulling the car over to the side of the road. "Dammit. Dammit!"**

**"Dad! Stop!" she insisted.**

**"Emily... I'm such a screw-up... I can't do anything right... I... I'm... I don't deserve to even see her! The pain in her eyes! I could still see it... even when she was laughing with him! I ruined everything... It's not even worth it anymore!" he yelled, punching the dashboard.**

**"Dad... I really think you need to take a breath. Are you still driving?"**

**"No..." he mumbled, shaking his head. His voice was muffled behind his hands. **

**"Good... um... where are you? I'll come and get you."**

**"No... no, don't worry about me..." he said, shaking his head. He dropped his head against the headrest and sighed loudly.**

**"No... where are you? You can't be out where ever you are alone and distressed... Where are you? Seriously," she asked madly.**

**"Emily... it doesn't matter... I can take care of this myself."**

**"No, dad... I want to help you. Tell me where you are."**

**"Do your homework, Em... gosh dammit..." he mumbled, shaking his head. He dropped his forhead on the steering wheel and moaned. "I'm a fucking idiot. Everytime I see her... God, I'm such an idiot..."**

**"Dad, it's fine. Calm down."**

**"No, Emily! It's not fine! I screwed every little thing up!" he yelled.**

**"Dad!" she yelled back. "Stop yelling or you will get someone calling the cops!"**

**"I'm hanging up now..." he whispered.**

**"No! Dad! Don't hang up that phone!"**

**"Emily, can I ask you a question?"**

**"Yes, go for it," she said impatiently.**

**"Does Gillian hate me now? Be completely serious."**

**"I'd say so, yes..."**

**"Really?"**

**"You cheated on her dad."**

**"Stop reminding me!" he yelled.**

**"You asked!"**

**"Holy... shit."**

**"You screwed up dad, and yelling and beating your car up won't fix things. You need to figure this crap out."**

**"I know... I know..." he moaned.**

**"I'm hanging up now," she whispered. "Come home. Like, right now, dad."**

**"Why'd I have to see her?" Cal asked.**

**"I'm sorry?"**

**"Why the hell did she have to show up? I don't understand..."**

**"I don't know. It was just a coincidence."**

**"There are no coincidences in life, Emily..." **

**"That's a lie."**

**"No! My whole fucking LIFE is a LIE!"**

**"Dad... you're being a little overly dramatic..." she whispered.**

**"Gosh dammit, Em..."**

**"Could you stop? Cussing and being so depressed. Just come home. I'm hanging up. See you in a bit."**

**He didn't say anything more. He hung up and started the car again.**

Everytime I See You by Luke Bryan


	5. Forgive Me

**Now it all just haunted him. He couldn't help but remember the way sheused to look at him.**

**And then he noticed the way she looked at him now.**

**With pure hatred. Pure disgust. She was so angry with him, and there was just about nothing he could do.**

**Now, he walked to her office with a purpose. He ignored anyone who said a word to him, and just pressed forward. He was going to fix this once and for all.**

**"Gillian."**

**She looked up and frowned. "Cal, n-"**

**"Nope. Stop right there. I need to talk to you."**

**She tightened her jaw and nodded. "Alright. Talk."**

**"This has gone on too long. We seperated a month ago and I haven't even been given the chance to talk to you about it."**

**"So this is my fault?" she asked.**

**"No, no at all. It's my fault for not being a man and talking to you anyway. Now... you need to know that I didn't do this with the intention of hurting you. I thought it would be completely harmless... I don't know why, but I just wasn't thinking, love."**

**"Don't call me love," she whispered.**

**"Alright, Foster, I wasn't thinking. I didn't want to do anything with her, and we never did. I got rid of her and I would have anyway."**

**"How can I believe that, Cal?" she asked.**

**"Look my in the eyes. That's the helpful thing about this job. We _know _when people are lying."**

**"But my judgement is clouded because I want you to be telling the truth... so I see the truth."**

**"Then maybe it is the truth..." he said with a shrug.**

**"Keep talking."**

**He fidgeted with his hands and looked at her.**

**"I'm not going to apologie for you."**

**"No... No, I know." He took a deep breath and said, "I don't that I have... inflicted lots of emotional pain on you... and I... I didn't mean it Gillian." He stepped towards her and she read the sadness on his face. "I hope you believe that."**

**She swallowed and nodded. "I do."**

**His face lightened up a little bit and he continued. "I really fucked things up... I know. But... we started so strong... we were the couple I always dreamed of... I felt like nothing could be messed up... because it was me and you... best friends for nine years... but then I pulled the stupid-ass move in our game of life...and I ruined everything. Literally everything. I cheated on the woman that I love the most."**

**"You obviously don't love me the-"**

**"Gillian, please," he said quickly cutting her off.**

**She nodded and looked at him with innocent eyes.**

**"I'm a mess without you, Gill."**

**She raised an eyebrow.**

**"I cried yesterday," he admitted.**

**"You... you what?"**

**"I got frustrated 'cause I saw you on the street with some guy... I needed Emily to help me figure things out because I was losing it. I flipped out because I saw some other guy making you smile... and you know what got me the most? Still seeing the pain in your eyes! Your beautiful eyes were still filled with pain! Even when you were laughing... I know that I screwed everything up, but I want you to know... I _need _you to know that I'm sorry. And you can be happy because I'm in pain too... but you don't deserve to be in pain. You did nothing wrong."**

**She stared at him and said, "I wasn't pleasing."**

**"Don't even say that, Gillian."**

**"I refused to have sex with you, Cal. Because 'I wasn't ready', but we both know that I could have done it with you... we dated for two months and we never even had sex! I'm sorry! It's my fault you were tempted with Zoe... if I had... pleased you, then this never would have been a problem!"**

**"Gillian, that's not true!" he yelled, angry that she would even considered that. "I totally understood that you weren't ready for it. Don't let yourself think that it was your fault."**

**She sighed inwardly and pulled her knees to her chest. "This is so messed up."**

**"I'm sorry Gillian."**

**She nodded. "I know you are."**

**"Will you forgive me?"**

**"I don't know..."**

**"Well... well God said that you have to forgive, but you don't have to forget,"he whispered hopefully.**

**"I've forgiven you, Cal... I just can't seem to forget you..." she said with an ironic smile.**

**"So...?"**

**She stood up and sighed heavily. "Let me think about it, alright?"**

**He smiled and said, "Thank you. I'm sorry."**

**"Stop saying you're sorry."**

**"But I-"**

**"I know you are... but you don't have to keep saying it. I understand. Thank you for coming in here today. But you do know that if we ever end up back in a relationship... that it will take a very long time for you to earn my trust."**

**He nodded. "I completely get that."**

**"Good." She gave him a small smile and then pointed to the door. "I'd like you to go now."**

**"Okay. I'm s- bye."**

**She nodded and watched him leave.**

Forgive Me by Natalie (Gah! My first song that isn't country. It was the only one that worked with this chapter.)


	6. She's Everything

**He watched her in the office. She seemed a little happier then usual, but not as happy as he could be making her right now. **

**She seemed to be doing things better and smiled more often. But that smile still wasn't reaching her eyes.**

_"Hey." She smiled and ran her finger over his arm._

_"What?" he asked._

_"Wanna get me some chocolate?"_

_He chuckled and shrugged. "What kind?"_

_"Wait, really?"_

_"Yeah, totally. What do you want?"_

_"I dunno... just a Hershey's bar?"_

_"Alright. C'mon."_

_"Hey, we should see a movie."_

_He smiled widely and nodded. "We totally should. What's out?"_

_She stared at him and her smile grew. "Oh my gosh."_

_"What?"_

_"I love you."_

_He raised an eyebrow and whispered. "I love you too. You've never said that to me before."_

_"I haven't?"_

_"No..." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. "I love you too," he repeated._

**Today she was wearing a pink dress that flowed nicely. It wasn't her type, but she looked great in it. She looked great in everything. **

**He walked out of his office and ended up running into her in the front hallway. "Hey."**

**She tightened her jaw and nodded. "Hi."**

**He stared at her facial expression and then turned around and hurried back to his office. "You're an idiot," he mumbled to himself.**

**"Hey." Ria smiled and stepped in. "Dr. Foster wanted me to give this to you."**

**He looked up and took the file. "Alright, thanks."**

**"She seems happier."**

**"Really? She's wearing a happy color." He stared at the wall. "She's so beautiful. I wish... I'm such an idiot. She's such an amazing woman and I wish I hadn't made such a big mistake..."**

**"Alright, well..."**

**"Has she said anything about me?"**

**"Um..."**

**"Her smile... her smile is so perfect."**

**Ria smiled and nodded. "I... I need to, um..."**

**"She's so mad at me... I made such a mistake. She loves chocolate."**

**"Yeah... uh," Ria whispered.**

**"Like she really loves chocolate and I'll never be able to buy it for her again."**

**"Dr. Lightman... I need to-"**

**"She's not miserable, is she?"**

**"No, of course not." Ria smiled and shook her head.**

**"Good... good..." He nodded and stood up. "You're still here?"**

**"Well, you were-"**

**"Get out. I have work to do."**

**She stared at him for a minute and then walked out of his office angrily.**

_His lower lip trembled, but he refused to cry._

_"What's wrong?" Gillian asked._

_"A kid at Emily's school was just killed... she so scared..." He frowned and bit his lip. "I'm so worried for her."_

_"Oh, she's a strong girl." Gillian hugged him and whispered. "She'll be just fine, I'm sure."_

_He smiled and hugged her back. "I love you Gillian."_

_"Oh, I love you too Cal. I'm happy we're together."_

_"As am I." He kissed her nose and whispered, "Thanks for helping me out. I love knowing that you're a safe landing."_

_She smiled and laid a sweet one on his lips. "Yeah, well, you know."_

**He tapped his pen on his desk and she walked into his office. "Yes?" he asked quietly.**

**"I've been thinking about what you said..." she whispered.**

**"Really?" he asked hopefully.**

**"Yes..."**

_"Cal! You're a jerk! Why do you do this?"_

_"Do what?" he asked, standing up defensively._

_"You strut around checking out any woman that walks by!"_

_"I'm a MAN, Gillian! What do you expect?"_

_"I don't know, Cal... A LITTLE respect maybe? Do you really have to do it right in front of me?"_

_"Gillian... come on, this isn't that big of a deal."_

_"Cal, I cannot believe that you would just blow this off like nothing!" she yelled._

_He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Alright. I'm sorry. You're right."_

_She smiled lightly and looked at the ground. "Thank you."_

**"Well... I think that... you really are truly sorry..."**

**"I am. I definitely am." He stood up and smiled at her. "I am so sorry."**

**She nodded and smiled slightly. "I know. You've said that a million times."**

**"And I still don't feel like I've said it enough," he whispered.**

_She kissed him on the edge of his lips and then moved over and actually kiss him._

_He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer to his body. _

_She laid her hands on his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist. "I love you, Cal."_

_He smiled through the kiss and pulled her until they were pressed so close it almost hurt. _

_She wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled him closely. He laid passionate kisses over her jaw and neck as he slid his hands up the back of her shirt. _

_She pulled away and grabbed his hands. "Stop..." she whispered._

_He smiled and nodded. "Alright. I'm sorry."_

_"No, it's fine." She kissed him again and crawled off his lap._

_"Even though we haven't gone that far... You're still the most amazing person I have eve loved. You're capable of pleasing me with just a kiss." He smiled and stood up. "Let's get dinner."_

**She fidgeted with her hands and looked at him. "I forgive you... I already told you that, but... I really do."**

**He tried to smile, but he just wanted to get beat up again for what he did to her.**

**"I want to... to try again with you."**

**"Really?"**

**"I'm giving you a second chance, Cal. Please... please don't make me regret it."**

**He nodded and took a step towards her. "Gillian... you're everything to me. I wouldn't hurt you again."**

**They hugged and she took in the unforgettable scent of _Cal._**

She's Everything by Brad Paisley (This chapter is a little choppy. Sorry)


	7. When You Say Nothing At All

**"Whoa, whoa, whoa."**

**Gillian rolled her eyes and stared at her friend, Stacy.**

**"You're going to give that bastard a second chance?"**

**"You don't understand, Stacy... I love him."**

**"He freaking cheated on you! How could you love a man who did that to you?"**

**"He loves me..."**

**"He cheated on you! Once a cheater, always a cheater."**

**"Do you not want me to be with him?"**

**"No! I don't! He's a jackass... I would never talk to him again."**

**"Well, that's sort of impossible. People make mistakes."**

**"Then don't be surprised when he makes that mistake again."**

**"He won't, Stacy. Why are you being so negative?"**

**Stacy shrugged and leaned against the wall. "If he doesn't cheat again... then he's quite the dream man."**

**"Well... well, he _is _the dream man. Or... he's at least _my _dream man." Gillian sighed inwardly and crossed her arms over her chest. "He doesn't want to hurt me..."**

**.:.**

**It had been two weeks and now things were basically back to normal.**

**They'd spent a lot of time together and he didn't even look at other women.**

**They sat in his office, just finishing up a case.**

**"Gillian... can I ask you a question?"**

**She shrugged and nodded. "Go for it."**

**"Will you ever look at me the same?"**

**"I'm sorry?" She frowned and turned her head, looking at him curiously.**

**"You don't look at me like you used to..."**

**"What do you mean?"**

**"I mean... you used to look at me with those eyes that basically screamed 'I love you', but not so much anymore..."**

**"I do love you."**

**"I screwed up... and things will never be the same now."**

**"Things are practically back to normal..."**

**"Practically is the key word..." he whispered.**

**She rolled her eyes and aid, "I know that you love me."**

**"How?"**

**"I can see it in your eyes."**

**He chuckled and said, "That sounds cheesy."**

**"Not when we're pros at seeing stuff like that."**

**"Good point."**

**"Cal, I can see in your eyes that your sorry and that you love me and that you won't let it happen again. And you should be able to see in my eyes that ****I forgive you... that's old news, Cal. That was a month a half ago."**

**"Old news?"**

**"Old news."**

**He smiled and stood up. "C'mon here, love."**

**She walked over and sighed happily as he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, Cal."**

**"I love you, Gillian."**

**It felt good to be in his arms again. She wished that nothing had ever happened.**

**"Do you need me?" she asked.**

**"Damn straight." He smiled and she knew. He was telling the truth. "I think it's more... uhm... the desperation that I have for you."**

**She blushed and patted his chest lightly. "You raelly know how to make a woman happy."**

**"I believe it's the other way around?"**

**She shrugged and asked, "What can I say? We're perfect for each other."**

**"What can I say? Oh yeah... Damn straight." He gave her a kiss and asked, "Have I told you that I'm a stupid idiot for cheating on you?"**

**"Yes... many times. And I like the name 'stupid idiot'... It sounds like something that a child would use."**

**"Well... I was very childish with my actions, right?"**

**"I suppose, but I'd prefer to leave all that crap behind us."**

**He nodded and his love for her sparkled in his hazel eyes.**

When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss (Short chapter... sorry!)


	8. Good Morning Beautiful

**He opened his eyes and was surprised to see her right there, looking all beautiful and perfect. He laid his elbow on his pillow and his head on his hand. He couldn't help but stare at her.**

**She looked so peaceful and gorgeous.**

**Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled.**

**"Hey," he whispered.**

**"Hi..." She scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry about last night..." she whispered.**

**"Naw, it's fine. I was tired anyway."**

**"Are you bugged by the fact that we haven't... done it yet?"**

**"Not at all. Really... that's not why I love you."**

**"Why do you love me?"**

**"Because... I don't know. It just feels right."**

**"Good... I was worried you might pull a 'because you're beautiful...' because that's the crappiest reason in the world."**

**"Well if you really want something to hang onto, then it's because you're a soft place to land and I know that you'll always be there for me... and you have the cutest little things that you do, like eat pudding and drink slushies and dance to no music with me..." He laid his hand on the small of her back and winked. "How does that work?"**

**"Perfectly... thank you."**

**"So, how'd you sleep?" he asked.**

**"Lovely... you have an extremely comfortable bed... and you?"**

**"Well, my night was very good... especially having you right there."**

**She blushed and said, "Now you're sucking up."**

**"Yeah, is it working?"**

**"Yes sir." She leaned forward, laying her hands on his chest and she kissed him lightly.**

**"Yes, apparently it is working." He pulled her closer to his shirtless chest and laid little kisses over her jaw. He ran his hands up her shirt and she pushed his hands down.**

**"No," she whispered.**

**"Why?" he asked, disappointed.**

**"Because you cheated on me." She smiled and crawled off the bed. His actions meant nothing to her anymore, because she knew he was truly sorry, but it was fun to mess with him. Payback was a good thing... right?**

**He sighed heavily and dropped his head on the pillow. "Dammit."**

**"Yep, that's right. Think next time."**

**"So much for good morning beautiful."**

**"No, I'm still beautiful. Whether or NOT we have sex." She winked and walked out of the room.**

Good Morning Beautiful by Steve Holy


	9. You Look So Good In Love

**She knew he was there. She didn't want him to be there and ruin her date.**

**Cal didn't know he was there and it was better that way.**

**She continued to glance over Cal's shoulder and fake smile, pretending like she wasn't seeing him.**

**"Gill? Are you paying attention to me?" he asked.**

**"Alec's here..." she finally whispered with a look of dismay. "Don't turn around or he'll know that I told you."**

**"What do you mean 'he'll know'? Are you communicating with him or something?" Cal asked with a frown.**

**She smiled and shook her head, finally finding a reason to take her eyes off of that bastard. She leaned forward and said, "No, Cal..."**

**"Then how would he know?"**

**"He keeps looking over her."**

**"What does he want?"**

**"How should I know? He's on the other side of the resturaunt," she mumbled.**

**"We should go." He stood up and pushed his chair in.**

**She grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "No, Cal... don't let him ruin our night."**

**He sighed and said, "I have to use the bathroom." He stood up and walked straight towards Alec.**

**She sighed and dropped her head against her chair.**

**"Why the hell are you here, Alec?"**

**"It's a small world," he mumbled.**

**"Yeah. I don't think so.'**

**"I just need to talk to her for five minutes."**

**Cal sighed and glanced back at Gillian who was smiling nervously. He didn't feel like he had the right to say no. He'd messed things up once, but she gave him a second chance. "Five minutes."**

**Alec's face lit up and walked over to Gillian and Cal's table. "Hi," he whispered.**

**"What do you want, Alec?"**

**"You're looking good, Gillian."**

**"Thank you...?" She stared at him curiously.**

**"No... I mean... you look absolutely amazing. You're sparkling... it's so easy to see that you are in love with Cal."**

**She smiled and looked down into her lap, blushing.**

**"I don't really know why I couldn't see how beautiful you looked when you're in love..." he said, staring at a wine glass regretfully.**

**She wasn't really sure what to say.**

**"I wish you still looked at me that way."**

**"Alec..." she started.**

**"No. I just want you to know that I'm sorry... and that you look so good in love. I mean... how does Cal manage to make you sparkle like that? He must be doing something that I couldn't manage to pull of... because... you know how people say 'twenty years has done you well'? or something?"**

**She nodded, looking over at Cal with a loving smile. She didn't realize what that man could do to her.**

**Cal was leaning against the doorway that lead to another part of the resturaunt. He watched them carefully, not really able to tell what they were saying.**

**"Well... well love has done you really well, Gill." He bit his lip, wishing that he could make her look like that. "It's blowing my mind looking at you right now," he whispered.**

**She stared at him and took a deep breath. "Well... I love Cal."**

**"Oh, I can definitely see that. Did he steal stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?" Alec smiled and said, "Don't answer that. I just wish you were looking at me like and that you still wanted me... Why the hell did I let you go?"**

**"Alec... don't lead us into this," she requested.**

**"Right... well... I just want you to know that you look amazing in love. And I'm sorry. So... so sorry."**

**She smiled weakly and whispered, "Thank you Alec... but you lied to me and you cheated on me."**

**Cal walked over and said, "Alright... times up. Time for you to leave." He patted Alec's back and smiled at Gillian.**

**Alec reluctantly stood up and said to Gillian, "I meant everything I said."**

**"Why were you looking at me with googley eyes?" Cal asked with a wide smile as he sat down.**

**"Because I love you like eighty times more," she whispered.**

**"What did he tell you?'**

**"That I look so good in love."**

**He smiled and asked, "What does that even mean?"**

**"You've changed me apparently."**

**"How so?"**

**"You make me shine..." She stood up and took his hand. "Let's go back to your place."**

**He smiled widely and shrugged. "Alright."**

**.:.**

**They slammed the door, already making out.**

**She tored his shirt off his body and pulled his under shirt over his head. "Cal..." she moaned as he slid his hands up her dress.**

**She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her upstairs to his room.**

You Look So Good In Love by George Strait (It's funny because Alec just encouraged Gill to have sex with Cal and he doesn't even know it.)


	10. Ain't Nothing 'Bout You

**He slammed the door upstairs shut and dropped her onto the bed. **

**She fumbled with the buttons on his shirt and once it was undone, she yanked him down closer and pushed his shirt down his arms. **

**He let go of her for long enough to push the shirt off. Meeting her hands at the bottom of his under shirt, he pulled it over his head. **

**Electricity shot through his body when she grabbed his chest. **

**He kissed her neck and unzipped her dress. "Let's get you outta that, darling," he whispered, gasping.**

**She shivered at his warm breath on her neck. She arched her back, allowing him to pull her dress down her body. The dress slipped down to her ankles and he ran his hands back up her legs, over her stomach and to the edges of her breasts.**

**She grabbed his neck and pulled his face down to hers. "Kiss me..." she moaned.**

**He did as he was told and practically shoved his tongue down her throat. **

**She ran her hands down his chest, but they were stopped by his pants. She tried to unbuckle the belt, but was held back by her moaning and gasping. "God, Cal..." she whispered as he tore her bra off, allowing himself more freedom.**

**She jumped and almost dug her nails into his arms when he grabbed her. "Ouch, love... don't get to vicious here," he said, laughing.**

**"Cal stop," she whispered.**

**"What? Why?" He sat back, disappointed.**

**"I can't get your stupid belt off with you doing that." **

**He smiled and looked down at his pants. "Oh." He yanked the belt off and unbuttoned his pants, but she grabbed the edge of them and yanked them down his legs. **

**He kicked them off and threw them from the bed.**

**She grabbed the edge of his boxers, but he stopped kissing and looked at her. "Are you sure, love?"**

**"Yes, I'm sure," she gasped. "Dammit, Cal, why would you stop me?"**

**"That's a good question..." He ran his eyes down her body and then went back to her chest. **

**She took his chin and pulled his head up. "My eyes are here."**

**"Sorry," he mumbled. "Um... so..."**

**She raised an eyebrow and almost screamed when he quickly began kissing her again.**

**He straddled her and placed an arm on each side of her head. **

**She grabbed his chest, but slid her hands down and pulled his boxers down. She pulled her legs up and used her feet to push his boxers down his legs the rest of the way. **

**He grabbed the inside of her thigh, causing her to jump and run her hands into his hair. **

**He rolled over and ran his hands from the inside her knees up her thighs and over her black laced panties and rested his hands on her hips where he pulled her her down onto his body. **

**She jumped at the feeling of his bulge, forgetting that he was naked now. **

**She grinded her hips into his, causing him to open his mouth and openly groan. He ran his hands higher and into her hair. **

**.:.**

**He glanced over at their outfits from earlier that night. He then looked over at the sleeping Gillian. She was curled up in his arms, all vulnerable and naked. He eyed up her body and bit his lip, looking away from her.**

**He sat up a little bit, but was careful not to wake her.**

**He dropped his head against the headboard and sighed with a smile. He was such an idiot for cheating on her. She'd the most amazing woman in his life and he almost let it all slip away.**

**She woke up and started crying.**

**"Whoa, Gill, what's wrong?"**

**She pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and wiped tears from her face. "Oh my goodness, Cal."**

**"What? Why are you crying?"**

**She sniffled and turned, burying her face in his chest. "Cal..."**

**"What?" He slipped down and held her face. "What's wrong?" He wiped a tear away with a thumb and smiled at her. "I'm right here, darling."**

**"Alec..." she whispered.**

**"What about Alec?"**

**"I hate him..." She shook her head and took a deep breath.**

**He chuckled and said, "That's no reason to cry."**

**"I'm a failure."**

**"No... No, no, no..." He held her head in his hands and frowned. "Gillian... no..."**

**He stared at the tears rolling down her face. Her perfect little face and the perfect little tears. **

**"Yes I am... I couldn't even keep Alec with me... and Alec's a damn idiot."**

**He laughed and said, "Yeah he is... and that's why you couldn'tkeep him. He's an idiot so he doesn't know what's good for him."**

**She smiled, causing his face to light up. **

**And there was the perfect little smile. "Gillian... he's an idiot... and you're perfect. There's nothing about you that doesn't totally make me go crazy."**

**She rolled her eyes and whispered, "I'm such a mess..."**

**"What?"**

**"I'm crying and we just... well, you know... I'm lucky to have you and I'm a freaking wimp. Screw Alec... We're done with him."**

**Cal smiled and nodded. "Yes ma'am... we're done with him."**

**She returned the smiled and ran her finger over his chest. "Thank you..."**

**"You have a beautiful smile..." he whispered.**

**She frowned and asked, "Where did that come from?"**

**"You were smiling... it was very exciting."**

**She laughed and said, "Well, that's a little weird."**

**She kissed him lightly and he started making a mental list of what he loved about her.**

_**Her lips. Her smile. Her body. Her laugh. Her cry. Her eyes. Her hands. Her walk. Her angry tone. Her happy tone. Her warning tone. Her excited tone. Her everything. **_

**He brushed her hair from her face and whispered, "I love you, Gill. I'm sorry for being an idiot."**

Ain't Nothing 'Bout You by Brooks and Dunn (You're going to hate the next chapter.)


	11. The Thunder Rolls

**He tightened his hands on the steering wheel, pushing the power of the windsheild wipers up. "Damn..." he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and keep his eyes on the soaked road.**

**He couldn't help but think back to what he shouldn't have been doing. **

_**He pushed on her shoulder's shaking his head. "Zoe... stop... this isn't right."**_

_**She ran her hands up his shirt and grabbed his chest. "Cal... c'mon..."**_

_**"No... no..." he whispered, slowly losing control.**_

_**She sat in his lap and leaned back. "Really?" she asked.**_

_**"Yes. Stop... we can't do this."**_

_**She pulled her shirt over her head, giving him a preview of what was to come. She was wearing the sluttiest bra that he could imagine any woman in. If he saw Gillian in it, he'd already be attacking her.**_

_**He looked away and whispered, "Put your shirt back on."**_

_**She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him close, pressing her bulging chest to his. "C'mon, Cal..."**_

_**"No..." he whispered painfully. "No..."**_

_**She kissed up his jaw and right below his ear, sending shivers down his back. "Cal..." she moaned.**_

_**"Zoe..." he moaned, shifting uncomfotably away.**_

_**She sat up, placing her hands back on his shoulders. "C'mon Cal..." She grinded her hips into him, running her face over her until her chest was running over his face.**_

_**He tightened his jaw and pulled back. "Zoe..." he whispered, trying to push her away.**_

_**She ran her hands up and down his chest. "Cal..."**_

_**"Please, stop Zoe... I... I... shouldn't be, uh... d-doing this..." He was losing all self-control.**_

_**She shoved him back until he was laying down and ran her hands down her hips, pushing her pants down.**_

_**"Stop," he begged, closing his eyes.**_

_**She held onto his face and shoved her lips against his. **_

_**"NO!" he yelled, crawling back until he was pressed to the wall. **_

_**She kneeled in front of him and whispered, "Cal... you know you want this."**_

_**"No. No I don't. Zoe, stop right now. I do NOT want this."**_

_**She unstrapped her bra and let it fall.**_

**_"Oh, God..." he said with a look of dismay. He looked down at the bed and shook his head. "Don't do it, Cal... stop..."_**

**_She grabbed both of his hands and laid them on her breasts._**

**_He groped ber for a moment and then yanked his hands away. "No... this isn't right. No."_**

**_"Cal, you know that you're tempted. Gillian's controlling... she isn't right for you."_**

**_"I love her," he whispered._**

**_"You think you do... but you really love me. Kiss me Cal. Grab me. Love ME."_**

**_"I can't..."_**

**_"Yes, you can."_**

**_She ran her hands up and down his chest, taking a deep breath, causing her chest to stick out._**

**_"I'm... Zoe, stop..."_**

**.:.**

**Gillian sat by the window, her legs pulled up to her chest.**

**Every rumble of thunder send another shiver and more worry down her body. **

**She stared outside, watching the rain pour down and pound against the window. "Cal..." she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.**

**The storm was going crazy. It was terrifying. The whole living room was lit up by lightening. Soon after, the thunder followed.**

**She stood up and began pacing, pulling her sweater tighter together. "Please come home... Please don't... don't be with her," she whispered.**

**She pulled out her phone and called him again.**

**No luck.**

**.:.**

_**She kept touching him.**_

_**She kept tempting him.**_

_**"Zoe, STOP!" he finally yelled, pushing her from the bed.**_

_**He stood up and shook his head, running his fingers through his messed up hair. "Go! Get away from me, Zoe!" **_

_**He found his shirt and pulled it on. **_

_**They were in his office, on his couch. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Leave," he whispered.**_

_**"But Cal..."**_

**_"GO! Right now! Don't EVER come back! You divorced me because I read you too much... and now you want to have sex with me? I'm in love with Gillian and you damn well know that. Get the bloody hell away from me."_**

**_"Cal."_**

**_"I don't want you."_**

**_"What do you want?"_**

**_"Gillian! I want Gillian and she's all I'll ever want! We've been divorced for years... we never should have cotninued to see each other. Leave."_**

**He was almost home, and he continued to tell himself he didn't do anything. He left before he could get anywhere with her.**

**She was the one doing stuff.**

**He left.**

**He didn't let it get that far.**

**Gillian wouldn't find out anyway.**

**.:.**

**She heard swerving on the road and ran outside, shivering from the cold rain that poured down on her.**

**Cal got out of his car and was immediately met by Gillian's warm embrace. "Gill..." he whispered.**

**She took a deep breath of what she expected to be Cal, but she smelled something else. "Cal...?" she asked, pulling away from him.**

**He stared into her eyes and bit his lip.**

_**She knows,**_** he thought, turning his head. "Gillian, no..."**

**"You promised!" she screamed, whacking her fist against his chest. "You said you were done! You said you were over Zoe!"**

**"Gillian, it's not what you think," he whispered, grabbing her shoulders.**

**"CAL! You said you LOVE me!" she cried, punching his chest as hard as she could.**

**"Gillian..."**

**"NO! Stop!" she screamed. "I don't want to hear it! You smell like her, Cal! You smell like Zoe... you were with her! Go away! Get back in your car and drive!"**

**"Gillian, let me explain!"**

**"You were with her! There's nothing more to explain!"**

**"We didn't do anything!"**

**"Then why is her scent all over you!"**

**"She... she was trying to get somewhere..."**

**"Oh... and you weren't going along with it? I KNOW you Cal! Any chance at sex... and you.." She gestured with her hands. "You just _jump _at it!"**

**"Gillian we didn't have sex. I made her leave. Gillian, please listen to me!"**

**He tried to grab her, but she slapped him. "Don't you dare touch me, Cal. Go home. You can't be at my house."**

**"Gillian... just hear me out."**

**"I don't want to hear anything else from you!"**

The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks (Aw damn)


	12. My Give A Damn's Busted

**Gillian had gone inside and locked the door thirty minutes ago, but Cal persisted.**

**"Go away, Cal!" Gillian yelled.**

**Rather than leaning against the door, she slipped down and sat in the font hallway, her legs pulled to her chest.**

**Tears streamed down her face as she listened to Cal pound on the door.**

**"Please listen to me..." he begged, slipping down on the other side of the door.**

**He clothes were completely soaked by now.**

**Gillian had taken five minutes to go upstairs and put sweatpants and a large hoodie on. "Go away," she said, wiping warm tears from her cheeks.**

**"Gillian... let me explain."**

**"Am I stopping you? Just talk..." she hissed.**

**"I was at the office and Zoe came in and totally came onto me... so I-"**

**"I don't believe you. You're a bastard and you would never push Zoe away..."**

**"I told her that I love you... that I didn't want her..."**

**"Cal! Stop making crap up!"**

**"I'm not lying, Gill!"**

**"Go away!" she yelled.**

**He dropped his head against the door and took a deep breath. "Let me in... please."**

**"What the _hell _are you still doing here?" Stacy asked, slamming the door to her car shut.**

**Cal looked up and opened his mouth.**

**"Wait. I don't give a shit. Go AWAY you bastard!"**

**"You told Stacy?" Cal asked. "You don't even know what happened!" Cal insisted.**

**Cal stood up and stared at Stacy.**

**"Hello, Cal."**

**"Hi," he whispered, staring nervously.**

**She placed her hands on his shoulders and yanked her knee up, sending it into his groin.**

**His eyes got wide and he grunted, falling to the ground. "Dammit!" he yelled. **

**"Maybe that'll teach you something," she said, staring down at Cal.**

**He rolled on the porch and held his crotch. "Damn..." he moaned, curling up.**

**Gillian pulled the door open and looked at Cal on the ground. "What the hell did you do to him?"**

**"Kicked him in the money maker," Stacy said, crossing her arms over her chest.**

**"Oh... God, yes she did." He struggled to sit up, but fell to his side. "Oh... dear God, that hurt..."**

**Gillian wanted to help him, but she didn't want to be weak.**

**"Should we bring him inside?" Stacy asked.**

**"Um..." Gillian whispered.**

**"Pleas edon't leave me here on the porch..." he requested.**

**"Shut up," Gillian said.**

**"Yeah, ok." He closed his mouth and scooted over to the wall. He sat up, wincing as he did so. "I'll never make another kid..." he said.**

**"I thought I told you to shut up," Gillian whispered, looking down at him.**

**He nodded and closed his eyes.**

**"I kinda wanna kick him again..." Stacy mumbled, looking down at him with no sympathy.**

**"No... don't do that," she whispered.**

**"Why not? He cheated on you... twice."**

**Gillian nodded and shrugged. "That'd just be... mean."**

**"Let's bring him inside," Stacy whispered, finally caving.**

**They both grabbed an arm of his and dragged him to the couch in Gillian's house. "Gillian, let me explain," Cal begged.**

**"Listen buddy," Stacy said, leaning down near him. She placed a hand on each arm of the seat he was on. "She doesn't want to hear what you have to say... You smell like your slutty ex-wife and that's all she needs to know..."**

**"No, but she needs to know what actually happened!" ****Cal leaned forward, but sat straight back. "Ok, we're not doing that. Ouch."**

**"Alright... No. You're a bastard. You're sitting in here right now because she's got too much of a guilty conscience to leave you out on the cold and wet porch all night."**

**Gillian walked into the living room and threw a bag of ice at him. **

**He took it and placed it between his legs. "Oh... so much better."**

**"Oh? That causes you pleasure?" Gillian asked. "Then I should take it away from you."**

**"Whoa... no. Gillian, please," he whispered, holding his hand up.**

**"I'm giving you two minutes. Explain."**

**"Zoe came to the office and I was drunk because earlier today we had that case and I was really... frustrated and so I was drinking and she came onto me and was getting all up on me... and that's why I smell like her."**

**"Why would you even let her get near you, Cal?" she asked, not wanting to hear him talk.**

**"Gillian... she just came in."**

**"Don't pretend like you couldn't have said 'No, Zoe... You shouldn't be here... Leave.'"**

**"Gillian she was-"**

**"Getting all up on you. Yeah, you said that, but I don't know if you remember or not, but YOU are the man and YOU could have easily pushed her away!"**

**"I was the victim!"**

**"Ohhh. Now you're going to tell me that you're a victim. What's next? I'm taking this too seriously? I'm too attached? I'm being ridiculous?"**

**'I didn't say that!"**

**"I don't give a damn."**

**"Gillian, please..." he begged.**

**She sat on the arm of the other couch and crossed her arms over her chest. "You know, Cal... I'm trying to find some sympathy here for you... but nothing's coming..."**

**"What?"**

**"I don't give a damn, Cal! I don't want to hear anything from you! You've got your stupid ice... get out of my house."**

**"But Gillian-"**

**"NO! Leave!" she yelled, pointing to the door.**

My Give A Damn's Busted by Jo Dee Messina (So...?)


	13. A Walk Through Hell

**"Oh dammit." ****Cal stood in the doorway, staring at the man in front of him. "Listen... I don't want any trouble."**

**"I do."**

**"Back off, man... I'm leaving now."**

**He held his hand up, stopping Cal. Looking past Cal's shoulder he looked at Gillian. "Gill... Are you alright?"**

**"Why are you here Nick?" she whispered. "Who told you...?"**

**"A little birdie." Nick then looked at Cal and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you? She gives you a second chance you and you cheat on her again?"**

**"I didn't cheat on her... we didn't do anything..." Cal mumbled, but he knew it was useless.**

**Nick smiled angrily and said, "Let's talk."**

**"No we don't - Uh!" Cal slipped to the ground and grabbed the doorframe, struggling to get back on his feet.**

**Nick pulled his fist back and stared at Cal. **

**Gillian still sat on the arm of the couch, her arms holding her stomach. "Nick..." she whispered.**

**"Gill... You can't just let him do this."**

**"I'm not letting him do this... Stacy already..." Her voice faded off and she looked at her feet.**

**"What'd Stacy do?" Nick asked, looking at Stacy.**

**"Kicked him."**

**"Where?"**

**"If you were a man... where would you _really _not want to be kicked?"**

**"Uhm."**

**"Yeah. Right there." She smiled and then glared at Cal, who had turned back to look at them.**

**"Gillian..." Nick whispered.**

**"Yes?" she asked.**

**"You mean the world to me... and I know that you don't want to be with me... and that's fine. But... I'd really like to... to help you with this if you'll let me?"**

**She smiled weakly and nodded. "Go for it."**

**Cal stared at Gillian, disbelieving.**

**"What, Cal? I don't have the guts to hurt you... Somebody else has gotta do it!"**

**"Why does someone have to hurt me?" he asked.**

**"Because you hurt me! Two times, you bastard!"**

**"Gill... I didn't-"**

**"Nick," she whispered.**

**Cal fell to the ground after the second punch. "Dammit..." he hissed, holding his stomach.**

**Nick took a deep breath and walked over Cal and to Gillian. "Can I talk to you?" he asked.**

**She shrugged. "Sure."**

**"Alone?"**

**She nodded and stood up. "We can go in the kitchen."**

**"Stacy," Nick said.**

**"What's up?"**

**"Don't let him leave."**

**"Right." She smiled and sat down on the couch, right by Cal's head on the floor. She nudged it and asked, "What's up?"**

**.:.**

**"What?" Gillian asked.**

**"You're not okay."**

**"That's a lie... I'm fine."**

**"I'm not Cal, and I can see it. You're hurt... I'm here for you."**

**"Nick, don't..."**

**"No. I understand that you don't want me, but I want you to know that... I'll do anything for you. Anything."**

**"I don't need anything."**

**"Gill... He... He dated you... made you think that he only wanted you and you fell for it... then he tore you open and tore all your dreams away. He's a sick person and you don't have to pretend to be okay. You can cry, Gill."**

**She bit her trembling lip. "S-Stop..." she mumbled.**

**He pulled her into a hug and took a deep breath. "It's okay Gillian.. There are people here that love you."**

**"Cal loves me..." she whispered.**

**Nick bit his lip and closed his eyes. "Let's go talk to him... alright?"**

**She smiled and asked, "You can just sit there... and talk?"**

**He chuckled and nodded. "As painful as it will be... if it's what you want, then yes ma'am."**

**She took his hand and said, "That'd be great. Let's talk."**

**.:.**

**"Gillian, I didn't-"**

**"Dude," Nick said.**

**Cal had moved to the couch beside Stacy. She looked uncomfortable.**

**Cal bit his lip and frowned at Nick. "Zoe and I didn't do anything."**

**Nick bunched up his fist, but Gillian grabbed his bicep and pulled him towards the other couch. "Don't," she whispered.**

**"I believe you."**

**"What?" Cal and Nick asked simultaneously.**

**Nick wanted to hurt Cal. He didn't want things to get better.**

**Cal wanted Gill back. He didn't think it'd be this fast though.**

**"I don't forgive you for... whatever happened, but if you say that you and Zoe... didn't actually do anything... then..." She took a deep breath and nodded. "I believe you."**

**"Does this mean...?"**

**"No. It doesn't, Cal... because whatever happened... she still managed to get her perfume all over your shirt. That's not okay."**

**He dropped his head and nodded. "Will it ever...?"**

**"I don't know. Probably not, but... I'm an optimistic person... but this is the second time, Cal. I can't let it slide like I did last time. I should have listened to Stacy."**

**"What'd Stacy say?" Cal asked.**

**Stacy smiled and said, "Once a cheater, always a cheater."**

**"But, I'm not..."**

**Nick was aching to punch him.**

**"You cheated on me at least once, Cal. Then you come home smelling of Zoe? Put it together..." Gillian whispered.**

**"But..."**

**"I'd prefer to stop hearing you say 'but' and then try to explain. There's nothing to explain. I believe that you and Zoe never did anything, but you still smell like her and until I figure things out... that can't be ignored."**

**He bit his lip and sighed. "Should I... go now?"**

**"Yeah, probably," Stacy said after Gillian got a tear in her eye.**

**"I'm sorry, Gill."**

**"Go, before she starts crying," Stacy ordered.**

**Cal stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll... see you at work tomorrow."**

**"Go..." Nick said in a low voice.**

**Cal was annoyed by Nick's presence, but soon realized that Gillian felt safe with Nick and that was what really mattered.**

**Cal opened the front door and without looking back, walked to his car.**

A Walk Through Hell by Say Anything (tehe... I'm getting crazy here with no country!)


	14. Love Don't Run

**"Dammit! I don't even know what to do anymore!" Gillian cried, falling onto the couch.**

**"I don't even see why the hell you let him in here," Nick mumbled.**

**"Because Stacy kicked him and he couldn't move. I wasn't going to leave him on the front porch!"**

**"I would have..." Stacy smiled and sat down beside Gillian. "I want to stay here with you all night and get ice cream and chick flicks and shit, but we both have work in the morning. And I would encourage you to skip work tomorrow but-"**

**"That would be imature and childish," Gillian finished.**

**"I knew you'd come up with something. So... I love ya, babe. I'll come by after work. Let me know what he does." She hugged Gillian and then stood up, leaving.**

**"I should probably go too..." Nick whispered. "You have my number?"**

**"Yeah."**

**"Call me... for anything. Even if you... need help with a math problem. I'm here for you."**

**"Thank you Nick. Good night."**

**"See ya later." He smiled and left as well.**

**.:.**

**"I... I can't even believe you dad. I don't even know what to say. So... until you make things better. Just don't talk to me. You cheated on her _twice? _What the hell is wrong with you?"**

**"Please... Emily stop. I cheated on her once and that was put behind us."**

**"Then why'd you two break up this time? Because of something YOU did. I know it."**

**"Shouldn't you be doing homework or something?" he asked.**

**"Shouldn't you be loving Gillian or something? Oh, wait... You messed that up. YOu can't hold onto anything in your life! I'm the only woman who has stuck around and that's because I don't have a choice! Mom left! All those other sluts that you had one night stands with left! And now Gillian's leaving. And I thought you two were meant to be, but I should have known that she was way too good for you. You're a jerk."**

**"Hey! You are not allowed to talk to me like that!"**

**"Has anybody else?" she asked, walking closer to him. "Dad... Somebody has to do it and we both know that Gillian is too scared to do it because she doesn't want to 'hurt your feelings'... and if it has to come from your own daughter... then so be it. You're a jerk. I'm not surprised in the least bit that she doesn't want to be around you. What the hell did you do?"**

**"Emily! Stop, right now!"**

**"Why? Because I have a good point? I can't believe you. Gillian _loved _you! You've been waiting nine years for something like this... and then you go an ruin it? Who the hell could have possibly been better than Gill? I don't even get this!" She threw her hands into the air and shook her head. "Whatever. I'm done talkig to you... Just looking at you is pissing me off more than I can stand. Good night. Fix. This. I'm so serious. She's not going to want to be in a relationship with you, but at least let her know that you are truly sorry. At least I would hope that you are truly sorry."**

**"Emily..." he whispered in a raspy voice. Shaking his head, he looked at her and took a deep breath. "Stop yelling at me."**

**"I did. Are you going to explain? Because I would really like to know what's going on."**

**"It's hard to explain." It was easy as hell to explain, but he wasn't going to tell her what her mother did. That'd ruin everything. She couldn't have two screwed up parents. "Maybe you should stay with your mum a couple days."**

**"Maybe I should," she agreed angrily. "See ya later. Let me know when her heart isn't broken anymore. One more thing."**

**He sighed and readied himself for more yelling.**

**"You let her believe that you loved her. She fell for you dad! She was exactly how you wanted her to be for so long... and then you went and ruined everything. You broke her heart! Figure this out, because I'm so frickin' pissed with you, it's not even funny!"**

**.:.**

**"Listen to me. Please. Just give me... like... like five bloody minutes, alright?" he begged, stepping towards her desk.**

**"Why do you even care, Cal?" she asked.**

**"Because I love you." He looked genuinely hurt that she didn't know that.**

**"You wouldn't have slept with another woman if you actually loved me!" she cried, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head. "I can't do this, Cal. Go away."**

**"I really need to talk to you," he said. "You can do this. Listen, darling..."**

**"Do _not _call me that," she said quickly. "I am not your darling. Or love. Got that?"**

**"Yeah. Okay. But pleast, just listen."**

**"Talk. Fucking spit it out, Cal!"**

**He was surprised, but it didn't last. He had a chance to talk. He needed to spit it out. "You keep jumping around the whole 'I don't love you' or 'I never want to see you again' thing because you are scared of hurting _my _feelings. You are scared of telling me something that I don't want to hear. And you should know... that this hurts like hell. I'm fuckin' dying here and I need you to understand that whatever you do... I'm not leaving. Even if you never want to see this face again, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere and you couldn't give me one good reason. I'm not going to leave it at this."**

**"At what?"**

**"I'm not going to let us seperate because of what happened between Zoe and I. You don't know what happened, but I do! I know that I didn't sleep with her... I didn't even kiss her, Gill!" He took a deep breath and his face flashed innocence. "I'm not leaving it like this. I refuse to run away from the situation like I always do. I am in love with you. Tell me everything. Tell me what's on your mind, please. Rather than tell me to just leave... tell me what you're thinking. Please."**

**She stared at him for a moment and then took a deep breath. "Cal... please just-"**

**"Don't tell me to leave, Gillian," he said angrily. "I'm not running away this time. I want to fix things. I need your help to do that."**

**"Why the hell was she even near you, Cal?" He shrugged, and she laughed. "See? That's what I can't do. Don't just tell me that you don't know!"**

**"This is good, Gill! You're telling me what's wrong and now... I can go figure it out?"**

**"Alright, Cal. I'm glad to see that you're making an effort here."**

**He smiled and turned away, leaving.**

**.:.**

**Loker quickly walked into her office and said, "I'm sorry for being nosy, but I saw this and... now I need to show you it. You might not like it, but by the end you definitely will." He waved a disk in the air and smiled.**

**"Put it in," she whispered.**

Love Don't Run by Steve Holy


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